Youkoso Jitsuryoku Shijou Shugi no Kyoushitsu e

Volume 8, Chapter 7: Second half of the girls\' battle - Horikita Suzune

Tomorrow the actual exam will take place.

Normally right now, the students should be having a lip-smacking dinner.

I, Horikita Suzune, made contact with the person inside our shared room.

Since all the students should be at the cafeteria at this time, it was quite simple to get us alone together.

"You see, Horikita-san. To be honest with you, I don\'t think you\'re seeing the current situation".

Before my eyes, Kushida-san looks back at me with a serious look. Still, right now we\'re at a cramped outdoor school.

I don\'t know who\'s got eyes and ears where. At the very least I cannot afford to take my eyes off Kushida-san, whose right before my eyes in her public persona.

"I\'m not seeing the current situation. What exactly do you mean by that?".

"In order to keep an eye on me.....or alternatively, to have me acknowledge you as a comrade by forcibly dragging me into the same group. Right?".

Always assuming that there\'s someone coming, Kushida-san replied to me with an attitude that\'s not far off from her usual one.

But there\'s a strength behind that manner of speech.

It must surely be because this isn\'t a situation where using tricks such as recording it with a cell phone isn\'t possible.

But that is also a welcome relief for me.

If she keeps hiding her true nature, we\'ll never get anywhere.

"I won\'t deny that those objectives are part of the reason".

\'Part\' is the word I emphasized but Kushida-san didn\'t seem to care about that.

"You seem to be acting based on personal feelings but I\'m just wondering how that\'ll pan out into a strategy. Certainly Horikita-san and I don\'t get along. But as for the group\'s scores.....no, if you had been thinking about the class, shouldn\'t you have put aside your personal feelings?".

Kushida-san said so as she sighed and crossed her arms, declaring the righteousness of her words.

"Your priority is me and me alone, that\'s why victory or defeat is a secondary concern for you. Am I wrong?".

"That\'s right. I can\'t deny that either".

"So you admit it".

As a matter of fact, I have nothing to deny it with.

Ever since it was decided that the Paper Shuffle would be occurring, I have been taking action while thinking solely about Kushida-san.

That\'s also the case when I invited her out for tea during the winter vacation.

I\'m doing things I\'ve never done before in my entire life until now.

"It doesn\'t matter what you do. I\'d like you to get it through your head already".

"Unfortunately, that\'s an impossible request".

Until I have resolved the problem with Kushida-san, I won\'t be able to move forward.

"It\'s not my place to say but have you forgotten the promise made in front of the student council president you forcibly dragged me in front of? Leaving aside my feelings, which just won\'t settle down, I\'ve given my word that I won\'t sabotage Horikita-san anymore. I had thought you\'d at least understand I wouldn\'t take action carelessly. Or could it be that you thought I\'d immediately break my promise?".

I couldn\'t answer that question with words. In all likelihood, Kushida-san knows of my feelings as well. Half of it would be correct.

Even as I held hopes that Kushida-san is the sort of person to reluctantly abide by her promise, there\'s still a side of me that thinks she may be moving behind the scenes to expel me, and those two feelings are intertwined.

If I did not suspect Kushida-san, then there\'d be no need for me to stick with her all day and all night.

Besides, Nii-san isn\'t the sort of person to reveal it to others so as soon as he graduates, the promise is as good as null.

If I am to take action, it has to be before Nii-san is gone after his graduation.

There\'s little time left.

"I want to be trusted by you".

I decided to be frank with her.

"You\'re being quite honest".

Taking it head-on, Kushida-san smiled thinly. But it was not an affirmative smile. This alone, I cannot afford to mistake.

"No matter what happens, I will not reveal your past. What should I do to have you believe me?".

"Sorry but I\'ll never believe you".

Kushida-san said so readily.

"I don\'t stand to gain anything from revealing it".

"That may be so. If I ever find out you told someone about it, I\'ll give you no quarter. I may even think about collapsing the class like I did back during middle school. Someone like you, Horikita-san, who\'s aiming for Class A won\'t commit an act that\'s full of nothing but drawbacks. It\'s natural to think that way".

It seemed to me that my feelings were conveyed as they are to Kushida-san.

But even so, there must be a reason why she still cannot relent.

"But you see, if you ask me I\'d say our current circumstances are quite inflexible".

"Inflexible......?".

"For instance, you have a knife pointed at the back of your head and you\'re asked to cooperate because you won\'t be hurt that way, will you obey another person then? There\'s a difference between a situation where you can\'t be hurt even if they wanted to hurt you and a situation where they can easily hurt you if they feel like doing so. You understand, right?".

Kushida-san trusts no one.

She doesn\'t make her decisions based on the pros and cons but rather, she simply can\'t stand the fact that someone other than herself may possess information that gives them an advantage.

So that\'s why she\'s trying to get rid of me. The problem is that I can\'t let go of that knife either.

"But aren\'t you strangling yourself over that? As a matter of fact, the number of people who know about you is slowly increasing".

"That\'s right. I\'ll admit that the situation has become difficult".

"You\'re clever. You\'re above average when it comes to academic ability and athleticism and you\'re number one in our school year when it comes to communication skills.....no, depending on the situation you may even be number one in the whole school. Even as I\'m talking to you like this now, I\'m impressed by how well you\'re able to think on your feet. You would be a great asset to the class if you would cooperate as a classmate. You yourself would be better appreciated by your surroundings that way too".

"Don\'t you know that know-it-all tone of yours pisses me off more than anything else? This proposal of yours stems from you knowing about my true personality. I can\'t stand that. If you were a person who didn\'t know anything, you wouldn\'t even be taking that tone with me".

"That\'s.....".

I will never accept someone who knows about my past. That resolve of hers has been intensely conveyed to me.

"You\'re smarter than me, wouldn\'t you do just fine at any other school? Besides, as far as I can tell, Horikita-san came here because you wanted to attend the same school as your brother right? But your brother will be graduating soon, so wouldn\'t you no longer need to force yourself to stay here? Go study at a different school and either go onto college or find yourself a job. Isn\'t that fine?".

As though saying any further conversation would be a waste of time, Kushida-san showed signs of cutting our conversation short. I was unable to keep her in check and so I quietly sighed.

"I\'ll lie low for now. But I will never trust you nor will I cooperate with you, Horikita-san. Until either one of us disappears from this school, this conversation will run forever in parallel. It\'ll do you good to remember that".

"...I understand. I\'ll leave it at this for today then".

"Not just today, make this the last time".

Leaving behind those words, Kushida-san walked off through the corridor.

"I\'m powerless".

I don\'t have that many comrades I can rely on.

Ayanokouji-kun seems like the person I can rely on the most at a time like this but we\'ve grown distant.

It may have been because I forced him to say his piece about the student council in front of Kushida-san.

But there are things I can\'t back down from either.

My conflict with her is something that can only be resolved through repeatedly making contact with her.

Even if I am to lose his cooperation, I will still choose Kushida-san.

No, I have to choose her.